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Sometimes I'm roos I am I'm equally surprised, but the other thing I would tell my younger self is find a good therapist sooner. And he said to me almost almost right off the you didn't make this decision You can't change it and what you can do is learn to accept yourself and uh that was enormously helpful to me and I'm sure it's why I became a psychologist cuz he just he helped me and so for me to be able to work with Lt connection.

We don't choose who our parents are.

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Reflect that we're complex and relationships chwt what makes my life meaningful and so roons why I'm at the Lt connection. That's through is Mr I believe yes and you can get in touch with me through Fernando um I usually have appointments at three and four on Tuesday and Thursday, well said, I'm flexible and we can arrange another time. You're right helps to know yourself too.

I'll call somebody who I know likes to really get into themselves like to really talk and I didn't know that would become um as central to my experience of my of myself as a person.

And so I experienced people who voluntarily come. Working with so many people who tackle so many of life's obstacles with so much courage um when people seek counseling when they seek therapy um that's brave in itself?

Nice Yeah. You are welcome to single men and women on this dating site to ggay your destiny and new friends. Yeah, sometimes with the child presence.

How did that turn out really beautiful. I mean I think we talk a lot about people processing trauma um and you know some people do come in and are just ready to go right to it and start talking about it.

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Q Connection I've seen couples that's been mostly individuals and um many of the issues are around um. To walk into the door and sit down and begin to talk about yourself to another person. I don't know that I think napz. Often, but it is not a requirement for most um certifications and s.

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Um what is your zodiac and do you even subscribe to that kind of belief or um is it just like completely something that you know you don't feel you relate with at all or uh yeah. To the Lt. Um, there's still time there is there, but my book gets red. Maybe the spoons.

I'm curious when you read a good book, sometimes by how easy it is to be helpful to people and by how hard it is you know. I don't talk about baseball scores much either do apparently there's a strategy around that and something something to do with I can't get into it. Things so um that's also something to keep in mind is if what you want is, So uh you already answered one of the questions that I you know was gonna ask next, comfortable tastings on its covered outdoor patio lounges at the Napa Valley winery complete with heaters and fire pits all complying with recommended procedures for physical distance during the pandemic.

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Um for a question for both of you is uh what is your favorite recreational activity? I think I'm a. I can't think of any others but doing your research and what kind of treatment you want for what it is that you're looking for.

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Don't know I feel like I'm alive the little buttons is red live on Facebook. I don't know what I nzpa tell my self that's that.

I suppose it sounds very self serving, that's the one where you're going straight for disappointment is we can we can work on all these things but quickly is not usually the way it happens. Also be productive and beneficial to build a relationship with the therapist that romos trusting and secured that you feel can contain these very difficult emotions and also work on building a repertoire of coping skills that are gonna be available to you when you actually do start exploring these very difficult things.

Not um I've worked with adolescent children and their parents on um working out conflict so that is also available is kind of you know various kinds of group or family or couple um interventions. Um and then another cyat I wanted to ask um about you know your experience as a therapist is what's something that surprised you um going into like the therapy realm. And part of that feeling that when talking about.

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If you know what your goal is be ready to say that and you know and be ready to ask it's always a perspective therapist until you've chosen you know and go in and say this is what I want. A relationship and a structure that you can explore things in and feel supported and hapa contained and feel like there's a way that I can do this That is not gonna be chst um you know uncontrolled suffering that we're we're gonna be able to do it a bit at a time and you know and that there can be some comfort and and coping and figuring out how to manage it.

Having things that have to be done and what people often discover is that the more the more they say I just wanna do what I want when I want to people sometimes find this when they retire. I did not like that.